This was originally posted on the 4Networking Group on Facebook: 4Networking Community
I’ll be updating this as I grow the blog but this is the story for now :)!
Let me reintroduce myself ￼
How many times have you thought about ending it all?
I lived in America for 4 years, the first 3 were great, the sun was shining, you could feel the love and warmth of California everywhere. My favourite thing to do was cycle down by Newport Beach along the path on my beach cruiser with 70m of sand between me and the beautiful blue sea! My favourite time to cycle was when the Sun was setting, it wasn’t too hot and the views were beautiful!
Then, I guess you could say things went a bit “Pete Tong”! I divorced my Wife at the time, she kicked me out, I was homeless! Every cloud… however and I did manage to “borrow” her car so I was able to sleep in the car most nights, I also worked at a 24 hour gym so there was a desk I was able to use to sleep under for another few nights!
I finally picked myself up and got a place, I kept my job though this period as a Sales Manager so I had to keep everyone buzzing with energy! I did well keeping up the image that nothing was going on! Until I messed up a little…….
I’m sure we’ve all made mistakes right? ￼ I went out to a party with a mate, got wasted, and he convinced me to drive him home! Bloody stupid! I reversed into a car, panicked and drove off, I parked up down the road and went back to the party! Got even more wasted, 30 mins later I went back to check on the car, sure enough there was a police presence! I didn’t think they noticed me so I ran and hid under a set of stairs (hide and seek training only, no previous military experience haha)! Then I heard the command “Come out with your hands up”, shit i’ve seen Facebook videos and films about American cops, better do as he says. Sure enough with his gun drawn I came out slowly and did everything he said!
Locked up, stripped down with the biggest hangover you could imagine, waiting in a holding cell with 18 others for 24 hours, one blocked toilet in the middle and concrete floors to sleep on, the horrific stench of Bologna sandwiches every 6 hours. It was a nightmare!
I was nervous as hell because I didn’t know anyones number (who remembers numbers these days?) no one knew where I was, I couldn’t tell my employer where I was so I was bound to lose my job and everyone back home had no idea! It’s a long story but I got hold of my employer just in time and kept my job!
I got out of Jail with a $30,000 fine (at 10% interest) and 28 days of CalTrans (hard labour basically). I had to make a tough choice as I was financially ruined at this point because I had to pay to get my car out of the impound! I ditched my car insurance to pay back the restitution instead! Risky business!
I fell behind with payments on my car, but I managed to pay the restitution for the first two months. By month 3 I was going to be 3 days late paying the restitution and I hadn’t made a car payment in a couple of months.
At this time I was working at a bank as a personal banker (aka hypocrite)! I walked out of work one day to find my Mini Cooper S Convertible that I absolutely loved, GONE! It had been repossessed!
Shit! I had nothing! I got sent some money from my parents, not too much as they dot’t have much but it was my birthday money and enough to put down $100 on a car with monthly repayments! I also managed to make my restitution payment even if it was 3 days late!
This red scratched up sporty looking car did not fit in though, it was something you would expect to be sitting in a scrap yard not driving around in Orange County! Sure enough, I drive past a motorcycle cop and I check the rear mirror, Blue flashing lights baby, I knew it was coming!
I had no insurance, but that’s cool, that’s just a ticket that I would have to go to court to answer for. Then something came through on the Radio…. I had an arrest warrant for failure to pay restitution! Hang on, I paid!!! Yes I was 3 days late but I paid it!!
Sure enough, 3 days matters! The second the deadline passes an arrest warrant gets issued! Back to jail I went, there are some jail stories I have that are interesting but that’s for another time! This was on a Thursday and it was a national holiday on Monday…. I didn’t get to see the judge until the following Wednesday as they were booked up!
Divorced, Homeless, Jail, Hard Labour, Lost my Car, Struggled big time with money, Jail again, No family around, too proud to ask friends for help, I felt lost, down and depressed! I got sentenced to 3 months in jail suspended for paying my fine 3 days late! I felt hard done by to say the least!
I was walking down a long street one day, the palm trees were tall and the sun was setting behind them, it looked beautiful…. but tears were streaming down my face, I felt knotted up inside and sick, I had no one to turn to! NOW’S MY CHANCE! A huge arctic lorry was trundling along the road at speed, all I had to do was time it right and get in front of it!
Then I was flooded with guilt and I reminded myself that I have family and people that care about me back home! I made the decision not to take my own life, but to take control of my life!
I booked a one way ticket to London with my final pay cheque, I landed and checked my old halifax account had £12.50 in it and I had a suit! I had set up 4 interviews by email before I got back to the UK and had to borrow money off my brother to get to the interviews! Sure enough I had gained some fantastic experience in America, both life experience and work experience! I was offered all 4 jobs!
I then made it a goal to buy a house within a year! The guy that was homeless and in Jail just a few weeks ago had set a huge goal!! I FUCKING DID IT BABY!!!!! I own a nice little two bedroom cottage in Beddau, Wales! I currently rent it out but it was a huge accomplishment for me! But the Drama’s not over yet!
I then get a text out of the blue! “I’m pregnant”! SHIT!!!
A one night stand when I got back to the UK turned into a bloody kid! Don’t get me wrong I love my little boy now, it did take me a hell of a long time to accept it and come round to the fact that i’m a dad though!
Now, I want to provide for my boy, I want to spend more time with him then just every other weekend! That’s why I left my full-time employment at the beginning of this month! I need to do something greater then being an employee! I need to have freedom and mentor my boy! I need him to know his Dad is here and Loves him!